Scott And Lightning's WTF Journey
by ForteKham617
Summary: Follow Along The Path Of The Devious Red Head Himself, Scott And His Protein Obsessed Friend, Lightning As They Go On A Journey To Florida To Escape Their Punishment - From A Seemingly Harmless Prank - Awaiting Them At Playa De Losers! Rated M - For Stuff! Oh Yes, A Whole Lot Of Stuff!
1. Yo Mamma

**Hello everybody, ForteKham617 here as always!**

**So, as a tribute to my two favorite TD characters of all time (That being: Scott and Lightning), I've decided to write a story where the two go on a journey!**

**Now, I know what you're probably thinking... "Why is the title: Scott And Lightning's WTF Journey?"**

**Well, I've noticed how most of my stories have this clam, tame restraint to them. So, as you can imagine, this story will be practically just one big, "WTF?!"**

* * *

**Main Characters: Scott, and Lightning!**

**Characters That Will Come Into Play Later: Sam, Dakota, And Even Fang The Mutated Shark!**

**So, let's sha-start!**

* * *

~Scott And Lightning's WTF Journey~

* * *

_*Ring, Ring*_

_"Hello?" An old woman answered her phone._

_"Yes, is this a collect call from, yo mamma?!" A man asked, joking._

_"Huh?" The old woman asked._

_*The Man Hung Up*_

* * *

"Ah-Ha Ha Ha Ha!" Scott and Lightning both laughed as they were watching a prank call video on Youtube. They were both at Playa De Losers. They were also roommates.

"Aw man, that was sha-great!" Lightning said, wiping away a tear from his eye.

"Yeah, I guess it was good!" Scott said with a hidden devious smirk.

"Why?" Lightning asked him. "You didn't sha-like it?"

"No, I did!" Scott said. "But, how much better would it be if we prank called someone?!"

Lightning grew a big idiot smile from Scott's idea.

"Sha-yeah!" Lightning said as he and Scott high-fived.

* * *

Scott dialed a number on the phone.

_"What?"_ A person asked, sounding impatient. That person was, Jo.

"Hello, is this a collect call from, your momma?!" Scott asked as Lightning was trying to hold in his laughter.

_"These f*cking prank callers! Why don't you dickless assholes grow some balls! Come by so I can't rip your damn throats out!"_ Jo threatened, sounding pissed off.

"We sure know you have the balls!" Scott said back.

_"AAAAAAAAH! YOU MOTHER FU-"_ Jo didn't have time to finish her sentence as Scott hung up the phone.

"Ha Ha Ha Ha, Ha Ha Ha Ha!" Scott and Lightning both laughed uncontrollably.

"Alright, Lightning's turn!" Lightning enthusiastically said as he dialed the numbers.

* * *

_"Hello?"_ A person asked. It was, Zoey.

"Yes, hello! Suck Mike's sha-*ick lately?!" Lightning asked as Scott rolled on the ground, laughing.

_"Excuse me?! What did you just say?!"_ Zoey asked, sounding offended and a little mad.

"Bitches ain't sha-shit!" Lightning said as he immediately hanged up the phone.

"Wait!" Scott said as he stopped laughing. This caught Lightning's attention. "My brain just hatched an idea!"

"Well, lay it on Lightning!" Lightning said.

"The greatest prank! We call..." Scott said as his smirk grew wider and wider. "... Chris McLean!"

* * *

Scott dialed the number of the insane host.

_"Huh?"_ Chris said.

"You sucked some donkey *ick today, Chris Mc-bitch?!" Scott asked.

_"What?! Do you know who I am?!"_ Chris asked, yelling.

"Yeah! You're a sha-jackass!" Lightning said as he and Scott chuckled to themselves.

_"Your voices... They sound familiar!"_ Chris said, sounding like he was planning something.

"Good, they should! After all, we were doing your mom yesterday night!" Scott said, not sounding worried

_"Scott... Lightning... I know this is you guys!"_ Chris said as Scott and Lightning's laughter quickly came to a stop. _"And now, guess what?! I'm gonna tell everyone that it was you guys who pranked them! Bye bye!"_

After Chris hung up, Scott and Lightning looked at each other, both scared. They also didn't say any words.

...

...

...

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" They both screamed.

"Chris, he figured out it was us!" Scott screamed the obvious. "Oh God, we're dead meat!"

"What do you think will sha-happen to us?" Lightning asked, worried.

"I don't know! W-Well probably get forty lashes!" Scott said, sweating.

"Oh sha-no!" Lightning said as he imagined himself with big, bushy eyelashes.

"Quick!" Scott said as he pulled out a suitcase from under his bed, and quickly began packing his clothes into it. "We gotta get outta here!"

"Oh sha-shit, man!" Lightning said as he did the same action Scott was doing.

_"Dear campers, if you want to know what ass-wipes prank called some of you, it was, Scott and Lightning! I strongly suggest you beat them into a pulp! Heh Heh Heh!"_ Chris said, over the intercom that echoed through the Playa.

Scott and Lightning looked at each other.

"Oh..." Scott said.

"Crap..!" Lightning finished for him.

* * *

As almost instantly, a strong knock was heard at their door.

"Let me in! I'll kill them!" Jo said, outside of the room.

"Those jerks are gonna pay!" Zoey said.

With that said, more knocks were heard as the door looked like it was going to break off its hinges.

Scott stopped packing his stuff. "There's no time! We have to get outta here, now!"

"How are we sha-gonna get out?!" Lightning asked, extremely worried.

Scott scanned the room for options.

"The window!" Scott said as he ran to it. Lightning stopped him.

"Are you sha-nutty?! We'll break our legs!" Lightning said.

"Oh, would you rather get your testicles ripped off by Jo?!" Scott asked.

Lightning looked at the door, and looked back at Scott.

_*CRASH*_

Lightning jumped right out of the window. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

_*THUD*_

Just as Scott prepared himself to jump out, the door broke right off. Jo, Zoey, and all the Total Drama Revenge Of The Island cast were there. Even Chris, too.

"Hold it right there, trailer crap!" Jo ordered him.

"Wha?" Scott said as he backed up and fell right out the window. "AAAAAAAAAAAH!"

_*THUD*_

"Oh... Sha-pain!" Lightning moaned in agony.

"There was supposed to be a pillow here!" Scott said as he stood up, and cracked his back.

"You dicks!" Jo yelled at them. "Quick, we can get them down there if we run fast enough!"

Scott eyes widened. He got up and quickly proceeded to run. Lightning too for that matter.

"Quick, Lightning! We gotta move fast, and cover our tracks!" Scott said.

"Lightning's got us!" Lightning said as he appeared to be dragging a paintbrush on the ground that they ran on that had red paint on it.

* * *

They ran into a bus.

"Wait a minute, where are we gonna go?!" Scott asked.

"We going to sha-Florida, baby!" Lightning said as he saw the key to the bus, on the floor.

"Florida?! Wha?" Scott said, confused. "Why Florida?"

"Well, Lightning heard in Florida, they ain't got no sha-caller id!" Lightning explained to him as he started the bus up.

Scott was even more confused. "Huh? Where the Hell did you read that?!"

"Fake, Bullshit Times!" Lightning said as he pulled the magazine out of his pocket, and ripped out the page about Florida not having caller id. He handed it to Scott.

Scott was still confused, as he threw the page out of the window. "Wait, Lightning! Chris didn't figure out it was us because of the id, it was because-"

"Let's put the pedal to the sha-metal! Sha-bam!" Lightning interrupted Scott as he stepped on the pedal.

Something went off in Scott's mind. "Wait, we're on an island!"

Lightning looked at Scott with a knowing smirk. "Lightning knows!"

Scott starred at the camera, right before letting out a scream. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

The bus drove right into the crystal clear water. Instead of drowning, the bus simply floated up to the top, and began to drive on the water.

* * *

"Dammit! They got away!" Jo said, frustrated.

Cameron noticed a piece of paper on the ground. Curious, he picked it up. "I think I know where they are going!"

Chris took the piece of paper from him. He grew a devilish smile. "Florida!"

"Florida?! That's freaking hours away!" Jo said.

"No shit!" Chris said as Jo glared at him. "Dakota, Sam! You guys will be heading to Florida to catch them!"

Sam frowned. "Why us?"

"Yeah!" Dakota said, agreeing with Sam.

"Because, I legally own you brats! So, I can send anyone I damn well want!" Chris said as Sam and Dakota groaned.

"Fine, we'll go!" Dakota gave in.

Chris grew a satisfied smile. "Perfect! The rest of you should go back to your rooms now! Dakota and Sam, you guys should probably get going!"

Everyone (Minus Dakota and sam) went back to their rooms. Dakota and Sam were both dressed in scuba-gear.

"Before you go!" Chris said, stopping them. "You should be careful out there! I heard it's pretty dangerous! Heh, better you guys then me!"

Dakota and Sam gave one last glare to Chris as they dived into the ocean.

"Those pathetic runts should of thought twice before messing with me! Ha Ha-" Chris laughed as he was interrupted when a random cinderblock fell from the sky, and hit him on his head. Knocking him out cold.

* * *

**So... Did any of you guys catch the two Spongebob refrences in this chapter? I sure hope you did!**

**You may not ask, "What the f*ck did I just read?" yet! I promise the next chapter will seem like one big acid trip!**

**Bye, and, I love you all!**

**And remember, DO NOT TAUNT THE CLAW!**


	2. Sweet Merciful Crap

***Insert Introductory Message That Is Either Semi-Funny Or completely Idiotic, Here***

**Huh? Well, that was kinda odd, huh?**

* * *

**AnyfriendofMike's - Thanks!**

**Torie Rilistkrycat - You really think so? Thanks!**

**Guest - Ding, ding! We have a winner! Congratulations!**

**So, let's sha-start!**

* * *

~Scott And Lightning's WTF Journey~

* * *

As Lightning was driving the gigantic bus, Scott slept as soundly as he could in the passenger seat.

"You sha-bitch! Think you could ram the sha-Lightning's big ass bus?! Think again!" Lightning cussed as Scott woke up, startled.

"Lightning... What-What happened?" Scott asked, rubbing his eyes. He then noticed that Lightning's eyes were bloodshot red. "Dude, you okay?"

"You say sha-what now?!" Lightning asked, not taking his eyes off the 'road.'

"Uh, dude, why are your eyes so...?" Scott asked, rolling his hand.

"You know how we sha-stopped at that miny-mart?" Lightning asked as Scott nodded. "The guy at the counter gave Lightning these little pills to swallow! He sha-said to take just one an hour, but, Lightning took all of them at once!"

Scott was surprised. "Are you serious? Holy crap!"

"Sha-yep! We'll be to Florida in no time, baby!" Lightning said while nodding up and down at a very fast speed.

"But, we're not even on the road!" Scott said.

"You sha-say something?" Lightning asked.

"I said, we're not even on the road!" Scott repeated himself as they were just driving on sand, no roads in sight.

"Roads are for sha-pussys!" Lightning exclaimed.

"Lightning I think you need to rest! Give me the wheel!" Scott demanded as he grabbed the wheel.

Lightning wouldn't let go. "Suck Lightning's 5ft cock!"

The two then started to fight over the said item. Until, they accidentally pulled it right off.

"Uh, is that sha-bad?" Lightning asked, holding the wheel, as Scott's eyes literally popped out of his skull.

The bus then started squirming left and right, side to side, and up and down. It even jumped through two hoops that were on fire, which amazed the judges.

* * *

_*CRASH*_

* * *

The whole entire bus was destroyed.

"Ugh..." Scott moaned as he felt his bloody nose. He gasped. "Lightning, are you okay?!"

"Lightning's going balling! Sha-baaaaaaaaaaaa-aaaaaaaaaam!" Lightning slurred his words as he had a giant piece of glass stuck right between his eyebrows.

"Jesus Christ!" Scott yelled.

"Lightning came here to... f*ck some... Trophies...! Bam-sha!" Lightning said, rocking from side to side, as he passed out.

"Holy mother fu-" Scott tried swearing as the airbag nailed Scott right in the face. "Ouch."

* * *

Scott and Lightning both roamed in the desert, in search of some sort of civilization.

"Man, this sha-stinks!" Lightning complained. "We don't even know where we are going!"

"Yeah." Scott sighed. "To think, all this crap happened from a stupid phone call prank."

"This just proves that stupid things ultimately result in stupid actions!" Lightning said.

Scott stared at him, a little amazed.

"All this sha-heat must be effecting Lightning's brain!" Lightning said, pointing to his skull.

"Whatever." Scott said back. "Let's just keep moving."

* * *

_=Two F*cking Hours Later=_

* * *

Scott and Lightning were both laying down on the hot, desert sand.

"Scott, man, are we gonna die?" Lightning asked, weak.

"You know Lightning, I'm not gonna lie to you... We probably are!" Scott said, also pretty weak.

Lightning started to cry. "No! This sha-can't be! Lightning hasn't even tried f*cking Anne Maria yet!"

"Yeah! I haven't even told Dawn my true feelings about her..." Scott stopped mid-sentence as Lightning looked at him. "... Cookies! Yeah, her cookies are delicious!"

"Scott, Lightning loves you, man! But, not in a Bert and Ernie way!" Lightning said.

"Yeah, m-me too!" Scott said as the two shared a hug. After a couple of seconds, they then separated. "Maybe... Maybe dyeing won't be so bad...?"

"Sha-yeah! They could have Samurai Jack in Heaven!" Lightning said.

"Yeah! That sounds great! Right, Lightning?" Scott asked him as Lightning was nowhere to be seen. "Lightning?! Lightning?!"

* * *

_*BAM*_

* * *

"Ouch! My long-john!" Scott yelled in pain as he grabbed his crotch, and fell down like the old woman in the Life Alert commercial. His vision also began to become cloudy.

"Is he dead?" a person asked.

"Of course not! I only shot him in the dick! I didn't go for the chest... Unlike last time!" A male-woman voice said back.

"We should probably get him to the warden!" The same person said. "Jailbot, grab him, please!"

Scott then felt a pair of robotic hands lift him up to a place he didn't expect to be going to...

* * *

_To Be continued-_

* * *

**Oh my! Who's the mysterious group of people that captured Scott?**

**Where did Lightning go?**

**And lastly, how is Sam and Dakota's journey coming along?**

**All of these questions will be answered in the next chapter!**

**Bye, and, I love you all!**

**And remember, DO NOT TAUNT THE CLAW!**


	3. Aw Balls

***Clears Throat* ...That is all... *Leaves***

* * *

**AnyfriendofMike's - Ah, dammit XD**

**Torie Rilistkrytcat - You'll see it'll get more "interesting" as it goes on :D**

**total drama rocks - (For Both Reviews) Yeah, poor Scott! His churro must feel so numb by now!**

**Helmet 798 - (For Both Reviews) Holy crap, dude, you noticed the Jimmy Neutron reference?! *Cries* I'm sorry... I just need a moment!**

**COOKIES - Well, you can thank The Simpsons for that =D**

**So, let's sha-start!**

* * *

~Scott And Lightning's WTF Journey~

* * *

_*=With Sam And Dakota=*_

* * *

Sam and Dakota wondered the desert, in search of Scott and Lightning.

"So, that's how I won my very first video game in my entire life!" Sam told Dakota with a proud expression.

Dakota raised an eyebrow at him. "Huh? What did you do?"

Sam looked confused. "Wha? Oh, I thought we were telling the story from the middle? What kind of crappy-"

Sam and Dakota gasped in astoundment. They saw a gigantic bus, totally destroyed.

"Wow!" Sam said. "Who drove that? Mr. Magoo?"

_Live Audience: Ah-Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha! Ha Ha Ha Ha! *Claps*_

While the live audience clapped, Sam rubbed the side of his neck, and Dakota looked at the sand. Their laughter eventually came to a stop.

"Wait a minute, Sam! Don't you see?" Dakota asked, excited.

"What?" Sam asked.

"This is the bus that Scott and Lightning drove!" Dakota announced. "So, that means they must be near!"

"Huh?" Sam asked, still baffled.

"Didn't you hear me?" Dakota asked, sounding slightly irritated.

"Wha...?" Sam asked as drool made its way from his mouth, and down his cheek.

Annoyed, Dakota slapped Sam right in the face.

"Huh-What?! Hey, that's the bus Scott and Lightning used!" Sam announced as he ran closer to it. Dakota could only give a bored look to the camera before following Sam.

"Aw crap! They aren't in here!" Sam exclaimed as he looked in through the shattered window. He then saw a pile of blood.

"What's this?" Sam asked himself as he dipped his finger in the blood.

"Ew!" Dakota gasped. "Sam, that's blood!"

"I wonder!" Sam said to himself as he licked the red substance off his finger. "Protein!"

"What did you say?" Dakota asked, sounding like she was going to throw up.

"Protein, my dear Dakota! Doesn't Lightning eat that?" Sam asked, knowing the answer, as Dakota nodded. "So, I have a pretty positive feeling we'll be catching them!"

Dakota smiled at her boyfriend. "Great job, Sam!"

"Let's go!" Sam said as he took a stance that looked like he was going to run. Instead, he broke the stance and walked at a normal pace as Dakota followed him.

* * *

_*=With Lightning=*_

* * *

"Hey, Scott! Lightning found a McDonald's! Isn't that sha-funny? There everywhere!" Lightning said as he walked over to where Scott was, holding a soda, and a wrapped up cheeseburger.

He then noticed that Scott was gone.

"Scott? Scott?!" Lightning panicked as he dropped his drink and burger. "What is Lightning gonna do?! Lightning can't survive on his own! The walls, there sha-closing!"

Lightning continued to yell as he almost immediately calmed down. "Lightning will find you, Scott! Do you hear me speak?! Lightning's coming for you, buddy!"

The jock ran off to find his friend, yelling his speech over and over.

* * *

_*=With Scott=*_

* * *

"Uh... Ohh... Ugh..." Scott moaned as he started to open his eyes.

He noticed that he was floating in mid-air. Confused, he looked to his side, just to see a small man in a brown business suit, holding a notepad. The little man also had an adnormally-large forehead.

Scott then looked to his other side. He saw a woman cop, holding a bat. Except, the cop didn't look like a woman at all as she had some hair on her chin, a gap between her teeth, and something bulging in her crotch.

As disgusted Scott was, he just couldn't ignore some cold, robotic hands hold him in mid-air. He looked up to see a white colored robot with digital eyes and a digital mouth. Scott stood (floated) in front of a tan-colored desk with a backwards chair facing him.

"Where... Where am I?" Scott asked, sounding frightened.

"Why, you're in SuperJail, Jacknife!" A voice said to Scott as the person turned the chair around to face him. The man wore a purple colored suit and had a large cane in his hands. "Strange though, I thought you couldn't talk!"

"Who are you?" Scott asked. "Wha..."

"Oh, you don't remember me? Because, I sure remember you! But, since you're a little shaky on memories, I'm the warden! The proprietor of this magnificent palace!" The Warden introduced himself as he pulled off his top hat, and took a bow.

"Wait... Why am I even here?" Scott asked.

"A lot of questions today, huh?" The Warden asked Scott with a cheesy smile. He then walked over to a TV. "Does this trigger some memories?"

Scott watched a different looking man robbing banks, breaking into stores, and breaking countless laws.

"That's-That's not me!" Scott said to him.

"Oh, what a silly, silly child you are!" The Warden said to him as he puffed Scott's cheeks together.

"Um, sir, I don't think this guy is Jacknife!" The small man said to the Warden. "Maybe we did got the wrong person!"

"Pfft, don't be silly, Jared!" The Warden said to him. "We've got him!"

"No, I'm not this... Jacknife guy you want!" Scott admitted.

"Oh God! He's going crazy again!" The Warden screamed. "Jailbot, activate punishment 2.49!"

The robot carrying Scott let him fall. The robotic hands attached themselves to Scott's crotchal region.

"Clear!" The Warden shouted, plugging his ears with his fingers. Jailbot then sent out 1000 bolts of electricity right to Scott's private parts.

Scott screamed his head off. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH-"

* * *

_"I'm easy!"_ Scott sung as he swung back and forth on a swing. He also wore a pink dress. There was also a unicorn in the background, doing nothing of interest. _"I'm easy like Sunday morning!"_

* * *

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Scott screamed in pain.

"I think he's had enough, Jailbot!" The Warden shouted through the electric noise as Jailbot immediately stopped.

"Ouch... Ouch... Ow!" Scott cried as he blew on his crotch to stop the burning.

"Dear God!" The man-woman voice spoke out. She turned to Warden. "Dont'cha think that's a little too overkill?"

"You're the one who shot him in the dick, Alice!" The Warden said to her as she clutched her fist. "Which was very impressive if I do say so myself!"

"Ow-What's gonna happen to me?" Scott asked, his voice barely audible to anyone.

Apperantely, the Warden heard him just fine. "Why, my dear child, you're gonna be here for the rest of your life! You're gonna be here... Forever!"

* * *

**Could anyone guess what show I'm referencing? Well, it's one of my favorite shows off all time, SuperJail! **

**Also, when Scott got electrocuted, how he sung "Sunday Morning" and wore the dress with the unicorn in the back, that was referencing The Cat In The Hat (Movie)**

**So, I guess that's it!**

**Bye, and, I love you all!**

**And remember, DO NOT TAUNT THE CLAW!**


	4. Don't Drop The Soap, Bitch

**From now on and forever in my stories, if I reference something, I will use this: []**

**Why? Because, if I reference something amazing (Let's Say, Spongebob) I want the viewers at home (Yes, You) to know the original source material from which it came!**

**So... Yeah :D**

* * *

**AnyfriendofMike's - Thank you! I'll try to do so, ma'am!**

**Torie Rilistkrytcat - Thank you! Now do you see what a powerful phrase "WTF" is? Wait... What am I talking about? **

**Helmet 798 - You'll see what happens to our favorite Red Head and everyone else! And, Scott's mistaken for Jacknife who is actually a real character in SuperJail. Also, dude, you noticed the Cat In The Hat reference?! Oh my God, I'm calling it now, I think you're a magician!**

**So, let's sha-start!**

* * *

_*=With Scott=*_

* * *

The Warden led Scott to his cell.

"And so, that's how you store drugs in a donkey's anus!" The Warden told him.

Scott looked confused and disgusted. "Uh, why are you telling me this?"

"Don't sass me!" The Warden yelled as he shoved Scott into his prison cell. "Have fun!"

* * *

As Scott dusted himself off from the rough push by The Warden, he took in his surroundings. He noticed a semi-tall man, with part of his belly sticking out, resting on the bed. The Man had messy, brown hair.

"Hey, Mac! What're you in for?" The man asked Scott. [1]

"Well, I was framed for a crime I didn't commit!" Scott explained. "And now, I'm trapped in this f*cking Hell hole!"

The Man stood up, and came closer to Scott. He led out his hand. "I'm Blues!" [2]

Scott hesitantly shook the man's hand. "I'm... Scott..."

"Heh, funny, you look kinda like that Jacknife fella!" Blues said.

Scott groaned in annoyance. "Look, I'm not this Jacknife douche! I'm Scott!"

Blues held up both of his hands. "Alright, alright! You're not Jacknife!"

"Good!" Scott said. "So, what do you all do here?"

"Me?" Blues asked as Scott nodded. "Well, we usually try not to get killed by the Warden's psychotic inventions! Though it doesn't matter as we just come back alive in the next episode!" [3]

"Oh..." Scott simply said, hiding back fear.

_"Attention prisoners, it's shower time! Get all your bath-time toys and head over there!"_ The Warden said through the intercom.

"Shower time...?" Scott repeated as Blues gathered all his things.

"Here!" Blues said, tossing Scott an extra towel and a bar of soap. "You'll need this!"

"Oh, t-thanks!" Scott thanked him.

* * *

"So, are the shower heads gonna kill us?" Scott asked Blues as they walked and talked. [4]

"No, that usually doesn't happen!" Blues answered. "But, you gotta watch your back and butt!"

"What?" Scott asked. "Why? For who?"

"Well, there's this freaking huge shark that rapes innocent victims in the showers!" Blues explained.

Scott shed a single tear. "That's terrible!" [5]

"Yeah, I'll say!" Blues agreed. "I heard he mauled this one kid on a reality show to the point where he had to be in a mechanical body!"

"Huh... Is that so...?" Scott whispered as he tried thinking of something.

* * *

The two eventually made it to the shower.

"Well, here it is!" Blues announced. "The shower!"

"Oh... Well... This doesn't look to bad... Heh Heh..." Scott laughed with hints of nervousness.

Something busted through the bathroom door. "What's up all you sexy bitches?!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAH!" Countless inmates screamed.

"Oh no, Fang!" Blues screamed.

"Wait a minute... F-Fang...?!" Scott said as he thought back to the island. "Oh my God... Fang the mutated shark?!"

Scott felt two scaly hands give him a massage on his shoulders. He turned around, and was horrified to see the one and only shark there.

"Oh, look who it is?" Fang said. "My little chew toy from the island!"

"You... You can talk?!" Scott asked, sweating.

"I sure can, baby!" Fang answered. "And, that's not all I can do! Heh Heh Heh!"

From the nervous sweat, the soap Scott carried fell right out of his hands. "Crap! My soap!" [6]

"Pick it up, my red popsicle!" Fang ordered him with a suggestive grin.

"Um... Uh... Okay..." Scott nervous said as he bent down and tried to pick up his soap.

"And, the game begins!" Fang laughed.

"Aw, come on, Fang! Not the new guy, not Scott!" Blues said.

* * *

_|One Rape Scene Later|_

* * *

"I'm in my happy place! I'm in my happy place!" Scott told himself as he rocked back and forth, hugging his knees.

"Hey, Scott!" Blues greeted him. "Look, this was a tough first day, I know! But, trust me, Fang loses interest in newbies after a short while!"

"I want my mommy!" Scott cried.

"We all do, kid! We all do!" Blues said as he hugged Scott.

* * *

Scott layed down on his prison bed, wrapped up with bed sheets.

"Now, you just ge some rest, okay?" Blues said to him. "It'll all be better in the morning I promise!"

"Okay!" Scott said. "Thanks!"

"No problem!" Blues said as he turned off the lights, and went somewhere else from Scott.

"M-Maybe Blues is right! I just need some sleep!" Scott told himself as he shut his eyes.

"Ready for round two?" Fang asked as he appeared to be laying right behind Scott.

"WHAT?! ARG-NOOOOOOOO! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Scott screamed.

* * *

**So... Umm... Uh... I'm not sure what to say exactly...**

**references:**

**[1] What Patrick says at the end of "Spongebob Meets The Strangler"**

**[2] Blues is Proto Man's Japanese name from the Mega Man series**

**[3] Everyone dies in Superjail! But, they all come back fine in the next episode. I think the only prisoners that don't die are: Jacknife and Lord Stingray (My Fav Character Of SuperJail)**

**[4] In Stephen King's IT, the shower heads stretch out, and, well, don't necessarily attack anyone, but... They stretch out**

**[5] What Plankton says and does in "The Algae's Always Greener"**

**[6] Never drop the soap! Learned that from multiple prison movies**

**Don't worry, I'll update how Lightning, Dakota, and Sam's journey is coming along next time!**

**Bye, and, I love you all!**

**And remember, DO NOT TAUNT THE CLAW!**


	5. That's All Folks

**Welcome all to the official Finale of this story! Yep, this story will officially be over with this chapter! **

**I hope you all enjoyed the 'Numb' feeling this story brought to your stomachs! And, all that jazz!**

* * *

**AnyfriendofMike's - Oh my God, seriously? XD I would've paid to see your reaction! LOL!**

**Torie Rilistkrycat - Thank you so much! You know, if Total Drama was an adult show, I could totally see Fang doing it with Scott!**

**Let's get this done! Sha-Bam!**

* * *

~Scott And Lightning's WTF Journey~

* * *

_*=With Sam And Dakota=*_

* * *

"So, you really went the week gaming?" Dakota asked Sam. "Not taking any breaks?"

"Dakota, us gamers are skilled!" Sam told her, grinning.

"Skilled?" Dakota repeated. "With what?"

"Well..." Sam thought. "It's kinda hard to explain, really! But, it's a skill, I tell ya!"

Dakota raised an eyebrow at him. "But, if you don't know, how can-"

Before Dakota could finish her sentence, she tripped on something.

"Ow!" Dakota whined, rubbing her head. She and Sam then noticed that she tripped on Lightning. He was laying on the hot sand, not moving the slightest.

"Well, we found one of them!" Sam announced the obvious. He then started to slightly kick Lightning's body. "Dude? Lightning?"

After the countless pussy kicking by Sam, Lightning shot up, from the sand, like a rocket. This surprised Sam and Dakota.

"Lightning?" Sam asked him. "You okay?"

Lightning slowly turned to face The Gamer. "No, the Lightning is not okay! You wanna know why?!"

Sam and Dakota nodded their heads for, yes.

"It's sha-cause..." Lightning stuttered. "... Lightning hasn't had his protein in TWO WHOLE MINUTES! SHA-AAAAAAAH!"

"Lightning! Get a hold of yourself!" Dakota yelled at him. She then slapped the Over-Achiever across the face.

Lightning stood in shock for a few minutes, staring at nothing. "Slap Lightning again!"

* * *

"Ha Ha Ha!" A random man laughed. "Who else but Lightning?!"

_He's Lightning! Lightning! You never know what-what he's gonna do next! He's Lightning! Lightning!_

"Sha-Sha-Sha-Sha-Bam, baby!" Lightning exclaimed, flexing his muscles.

"I sure hope no one ruins our fancy dinner party!" A man hoped. He and a couple other people were eating their food, all wearing black business suits. Then, the Lightning himself ripped off his fake Butler costume, and proceeded to flex for everyone on the table.

"Who else but Lightning?!" The same Man asked.

_He's Lightning! Lightning!_

"Give me some protein, baby!" Lightning exclaimed again, this time, giving a thumps up at the camera. [1]

* * *

After that random bit, Lightning stared at the camera, smirking, as Sam and Dakota looked baffled.

"Yeah, that was stupid!" Dakota shared her opinion, as she grabbed a hold of Lightning's ear. "You're coming with us!"

"Ow! Come on, girl! Lightning hears with that!" Lightning whined in pain as Dakota wouldn't stop. [2]

Lightning then remembered something of importance.

"Wait, wait!" Lightning yelled as he was let free of Dakota's grasp. "We can't leave without Scott! Lightning won't leave a bro behind!"

"You know, he's right!" Sam agreed. Lightning smiled as he put his hands on his hips. "We can't just, you know, go back with one!"

Dakota sighed. "I guess you're right, Sam!"

"We should keep looking!" Sam suggested.

"Right!" Dakota agreed, fist pumping. She then turned her attention to Lightning. "Lightning, can you-"

"Sand is protein! Protein is sand! Sand, you are protein!" Lightning talked to the sand as he tried eating it. But, he spit it out from disgust. [3]

Dakota and Sam's eyes widened.

"This is gonna be a long journey!" Dakota said.

Sam chuckled. "Yeah, you said it!"

* * *

_*=With Scott=*_

* * *

"Hey, Scott!" Blues called for him, walking into his cell. "Are you okay? I heard screaming and-"

Blues was surprised to see Scott, laying down on the prison floor. He was drooling and twitching.

"Scott, man, what happened?" Blues asked, concerned.

"Fang came... No means yes... He wouldn't stop... He went on for five hours straight...!" Scott explained, breathing heavily.

Blues' eyes widened. "Oh God! Fang never rapes anyone after nine O'clock!"

"Please, dude!" Scott begged him, crawling over to Blues. "I gotta get outta here! I don't want to endure this butt f*cking for the rest of my life! Please!"

Blues thought for a moment of what to say. "Okay, Kid! I'll break you outta here!"

"Really?" Scott asked as he caught Blues in a hug. "Oh, thank you! Thank you!"

"But, it won't be easy!" Blues warned him. "We'll start by Nightfall!"

* * *

_(Nightfall)_

* * *

Blues looked out of his cell, and saw that no one was patrolling the area. "Scott, come on!"

Once said, Scott and Blues quietly crept through the halls. Until, Scott felt this weird sensation in his nose. He tried holding it in, but, it was no use.

_"Ach-Oooh!"_ Scott sneezed.

With Scott's action preformed, several alarms went off. Red lights flashed bright.

_"Attention, attention! Some sneaky bandits are trying to escape! Use any means possible to stop them!"_ Warden's voice echoed throughout the prison.

Blues turned to Scott. "Run!"

The two then started running as fast as they possible could. Dodging The Warden's little machine guns made into the floor, and the dynamite-shooting security cameras.

* * *

They eventually made it safetly outside the prison. They reached the shore.

"We're almost there, kid!" Blues told him as they ran to the water.

"Hold it!" Fang yelled, stopping them. "You guys aren't gonna leave! You two are the sexiest mother f*ckers I ever did!"

"Oh no!" Scott said, sweating. "What do we do?! I don't think my ass can take much abuse!"

"Scott... I'll go!" Blues said to him. "If getting you outta here means getting raped again... I'll do it!"

"Thank you, Blues!" Scott thanked him. "I'll never forget you!"

Blues walked over to Fang. "Okay, man, you can have me!"

Fang then picked up Blues, and walked away, with a huge smirk on the shark's face.

"Poor guy!" Scott pitied him as he got in the water, preparing to swim away. The Redneck then swam away as fast as he could.

* * *

_*=With Lightning, Sam, and Dakota=*_

* * *

Lightning walked ahead of them as Sam and Dakota were semi-further away from him.

_"Look at that ass!"_ Dakota said, in her thoughts, looking at Lightning's butt. _"It's looks like a balloon!"_

_"Is Dakota looking at Lightning's butt?"_ Sam asked, in his thoughts, looking at her. _"Well, I guess I really can't blame her. I mean, it does stick out like a sore... Well... Butt!"_

Then, the three heard panting. Lightning was the first to see Scott, running towards them.

"Scott, buddy!" Lightning announced as he held his arms open for a hug. But, as it would seem, Scott was looking the other way. They both collided with each other.

"Yo, bro, why you so wet?" Lightning asked him, before turning to the camera. "No sha-pun intended!"

"I'm wet because I just escaped from f*cking prison!" Scott explained, getting up. Lightning also got up.

"Really? You went to prison?" Lightning asked, amazed. "Wow, Dawn's right, you are a hard-ass!"

"That's not the point-" Scott stopped himself as he blushed. "Dawn said that about me... No, no! Lightning, I met the freaking shark in there! I saw Fang!"

"Really?" Lightning asked, again. "How is that guy... Thing?"

Scott's eye twitched. "Lightning, HE RAPED ME!"

"Fang raped you? Sha-really? Oh, wait, he raped Lightning too once!" Lightning told him. "It was fun!"

"You think getting that shark... Dick in your ass is... Fun?!" Scott asked, yelling.

Lightning thought for a moment. "Sha-Yeah!"

Scott was in pure shock. "You know what, Lightning?! We're not going to Disney World once we get to Florida!"

"Sha-No!" Lightning cried.

"You guys aren't going anywhere!" Dakota told them both, as Sam stood next to her.

"How... How did they catch up to us?!" Scott asked.

"Well... Lightning kinda led them to... Us!" Lightning explained, striking a nervous smile.

"Shit!" Scott screamed as he and Lightning ran away.

"Get 'em!" Sam said as he and Dakota chased them.

* * *

_Music Of Choice: The Benny Hill Theme_

_Scene 1:_ Scott and Lightning are running away as Sam and Dakota both chase after them.

_Scene 2:_ Sam runs after Scott and Dakota runs after Lightning.

_Scene 3:_ Scott runs after Dakota and Lightning runs after Sam.

_Scene 4:_ All four of them run in different directions.

_Scene 5:_ Scott and Lightning are both dressed in trench coats and wearing black glasses. Dakota and Sam approach them, and ask them if they've seen them. Scott and Lightning point the opposite way, and Dakota and Sam run that way. Scott and Lightning pull off their glasses and run towards the other way.

_Scene 6:_ Lightning's giving Scott a piggy-back ride, and Sam's giving Dakota one, too.

* * *

"Well, that was pointless! We didn't even catch up to them!" Dakota complained with no emotion in her voice.

_"Wait a minute, I've got an idea! If I get Dakota mad, she'll turn into the Dakotazoid! Then, we'll catch them for sure!"_ Sam thought of a plan. He then held out his foot, which tripped Dakota.

"Sam, why'd you do that?" Dakota asked, hurt emotionally and painfully.

"Sorry! Here, let me help you up!" Sam offered, holding out his hand. When Dakota reached for it, he pulled his arm back. "Just kidding! Heh Heh!"

"Sam... Why...?" Dakota tried asking him.

Then, Sam kicked some dirt, right into Dakota's eyes.

"My Eyes!" Dakota yelled in pain. [4]

"Oh, boo-hoo!" Sam mocked her, rubbing his eyes.

To Dakota, that was the last straw. He started growing larger and larger. Her skin turned orange, and her clothes almost ripped completely off. Yes, she became the Dakotazoid.

"RRRRRRRR-AAAAAAAAAH!" Dakota(zoid) roared.

"Mission accomplished!" Sam said to himself. Dakotazoid then tried scratching him with her large claws, but, he ran away just in time.

"GET BACK HERE YOU JERK!" Dakotazoid yelled after him as she chased him.

* * *

_Music Of Choice: Spongebob Soundtrack - Hog Fever_

Sam eventually caught up to Scott and Lightning.

"Why is Pretty Girl, Freaky Girl now?" Lightning asked.

"Well, I got her mad enough to transform!" Sam explained. "So, she could catch you guys! It's so killer!"

"What about you?" Scott asked. "She's chasing after you, isn't she?"

Sam blew a raspberry. "It's all good! Dakota won't stay mad for long!"

"DAKOTA WILL RIP YOUR COCK OFF, SAM!" Dakotazoid yelled after him.

Sam's eyes shrunk.

"You were saying?" Scott asked.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Sam screamed as the three ran as fast as their legs could take them.

"What do we sha-do now?" Lightning asked. "We just can't keep running forever!"

"Yeah, you said it!" Sam said, sweating and panting.

Scott then noticed something that randomly popped out of the desert sand.

_"Freeze!"_ The machinery ordered. Yes, it was one of The Warden's contraptions.

"Hurry, duck!" Scott said as he, Sam, and Lightning fell to the ground.

Dakotazoid stood behind them, ready to rip them apart. That was until, the machine sprayed out a freeze blast at her. The blast made Dakotazoid entirely frozen from head to toe.

_"Have a good day!"_ The machine said before re-attaching itself into the sand.

"Is Lightning dead yet?" Lightning asked as the three stood up. "Woah! Dakota's frozen!"

The three looked at each other. "Hooray!"

"Wait, why are we cheering?" Lightning asked.

"She's trapped in the ice, right?" Scott asked as Lightning nodded. "So, we can bring her home safely! Without her trying to kill us!"

"Sha-Oh..." Lightning said, nodding.

"Come on, can you guys help me carry her?" Sam asked.

"But, we're going to Florida, dude!" Scott reminded him.

"Can you just forget that stupid shtick already?" Sam asked, irritated.

Scott merely shrugged. "Alright!"

Sam and Scott then tried picking up Dakotazoid's left leg. Lightning tried lifting up her right leg. Until, he lost his grip. Dakotazoid fell back, and shattered into pieces.

Scott and Sam's eyes popped out of their skulls.

"Sha-Whoops..." Lightning said as Scott and Sam stared at him.

* * *

_*At The Hospital*_

* * *

Dakotazoid's shattered pieces of her body laid on a bed as a handful of paramedics tried rushing her into the Emergency Room. Sam, Scott, and Lightning were following them, all seeming worried for Dakota.

"Will she be fine?" Sam asked a paramedic.

The man shrugged. "As if I know! But, judging from the pieces, I doubt it!"

With that said, the paramedics rushed what was left of Dakota into the Emergency room. Leaving the three alone.

* * *

Sam, Scott, and Lightning all waited for Dakota in the Waiting Room.

"Sam..." Scott called him. Sam glared at the Redneck. "Look... We're sorry..."

"You're sorry?!" Sam asked, standing up. "Dakota is probably dead, and you're sorry?!"

"Hey, don't blame us!" Scott said back. "You were the one who made her transform!"

"Yeah, but, you guys are the ones who started this whole shit from your dumb phone call prank!" Sam yelled at him, venom in his voice.

"Bro, we're sorry...!" Lightning, this time, tried apologizing.

"Don't you think you guys ruined enough lives on the island?! When are you asses ever gonna learn that what you do, destroys other people's lives!" Sam asked, yelling. Then, his yelling almost immediately down-graded into sadness. "Like mine!"

Scott and Lightning exchanged confused and surprised glances.

"Don't you see?! I'm gonna lose Dakota because of this! And, if I lose Dakota, I'm nothing! Just a loser, Gamer nerd! Do you hear me?! Nothing!" Sam explained, crying into his hands.

Scott and Lightning were surprised. Both feeling pity for Sam. [5]

"Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go to the bathroom and pray Dakota makes it!" Sam said, walking to the place he just addressed.

"Dude... We really f*cked up hard this time!" Scott said to Lightning.

"Yeah..." Lightning agreed. "Who sha-knew that Sam was so... Deep!"

"We have to make it up for him!" Scott said.

"Yep! And, Lightning knows just how to!" Lightning said, smirking.

* * *

_*Five Minutes Later*_

* * *

Sam came back from the Bathroom, and gasped that Scott and Lightning were nowhere to be found.

A nurse approached him. "Sam, someone ran off and took Dakota's parts!"

Sam's surprised expression turned to anger. He quickly ran down to the bottom floor. And, out the window, he saw Scott and Lightning driving away in a Jeep. The back filled with Dakota's shattered self.

"Those mother f*ckers!" Sam sweared to himself as he ran outside. He then stole a random person's motorcycle, and drove after them.

* * *

"Are you sure this will work?" Scott asked Lightning.

"Of course!" Lightning said. "When has Lightning ever left you down?"

"Well..." Scott thought.

Lightning placed his finger on Scott's lips. "Don't sha-answer that question!"

_*CRASH*_

"AAAAAAAAAAH!" They both screamed.

"What was that?!" Scott asked.

The noise was Sam. He jumped from the motorcycle, and into the back part of the Jeep. "What are you guys doing?!"

Scott and Lightning turned their heads around, and were surprised to see Sam.

"Don't worry, Sam! We're making things right!" Scott told him.

"No!" Sam yelled "I don't want you guys..."

Sam stared at something on the road. Confused, Scott and Lightning looked to where Sam was staring at. It was an on-coming cliff.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" The three yelled as the Jeep crashed into the side of the mountain, and blew up.

Luckily, Sam, Scott, Lightning, and all Dakota's parts seemed fine as they fell out of the Jeep just in time.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Scott screamed. "WE'RE GONNA DIE! AAAAAAAAAH!"

"Don't sweat it, Bro!" Lightning told him with a confident look on his face. "This is a ForteKham617 story! He won't let his favorite characters die!"

Sam and Scott exchanged worried glances. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA..."

* * *

_*SPOOSH*_

* * *

... ... ... ...

* * *

Scott, Lightning, and Dakota (who was back to her old self) woke up to find themselves sleeping in a big bed. Scott was sleeping on a pink side in the middle, Dakota was sleeping on a blue side to the right, and Lightning was sleeping on a green side to the left. Scott and Dakota looked at each other, confused, as Lightning looked at his surroundings.

_*BEEP, BEEP, BEEP*... The little phone rang. The phone was painted white, and it had a happy face painted on it. The red nose flickered on and off._

"Girls, girls!" A man wearing a lab coat barged in their room. His name was, Professor Utonium. "MoJo JoJo just snuck into a movie theatre without paying!"

Scott, Lightning, and Dakota stood up. Each one of them were wearing their color that they slept in bed.

"Oh, we're on it, Professor!" Scott said with no emotion as Lightning and Dakota looked miserable.

The three then took off, flying to the city of Townsville to stop the crime.

"Okay, here's the deal!" Scott explained to Lightning and Dakota. "Once we get Sam, and travel back to our show, we will never talk about this experience ever again! Deal?"

"Yep!" Dakota agreed.

"Oh sha-Yeah!" Lightning also agreed as they flew into the city.

* * *

_And so, once again, the day is saved, thanks to:_

_Dakota!_  
_Lightning!_  
_And..._  
_Scott!_ [6]

* * *

_The End_

* * *

**Yep, this story is officially over! Woo hoo! Yay, brains!**

**references:**

**[1] Spoof on, "Who Else But Quagmire?!" from Family Guy**

**[2] What Hugh Neutron says to Judy Neutron when she grabs him by the ear**

**[3] One of the many entertaining lines said from Double D from "Ed Edd n Eddy"**

**[4] What that guy yells in the Spongebob episode entitled, "Something Smells"**

**[5] Character development that Benson went through in "Regular Show." I just changed the dialogue**

**[6] Parodying "The PowerPuff Girls." And, actually, also parodying "The Grim Adventures Of Billy And Mandy" when they spoofed the PPG. It's refrence-Ception**

**So yes, this story is o-to the-ver! I hope you all enjoyed it! It sure was fun for me to write! Yeah!**

**Bye, and, I love you all!**

**And remember, DO NOT TAUNT THE CLAW!**

* * *

_*Extra Scene*_

* * *

"I can't freaking breath in this damn suit!" Sam yelled to himself as he was wearing a purple jumpsuit with a belt on, and shiny, metal cleats.

He then unded his belt, which released his fat. "Ah! Much better!"


End file.
